BACK TO SCHOOL: Parents Are We Ready?

Ever wondered how to keep your marriage strong while tackling the challenges of parenting and work? Join us on this week's episode of Relationships 101 Podcast, where we promise you'll gain valuable insights into balancing these crucial aspects of life. JasMeka shares her adventurous departure from online shopping to an in-store spree, all to satisfy her kids' unique clothing preferences during the back-to-school season. Together with Sylvester, they emphasize the significance of shared responsibilities in a marriage, from managing haircuts to setting appointments, ensuring neither parent feels overwhelmed or isolated.

Our discussion delves into the dynamics of modern family life, exploring how flexible work schedules and remote jobs can transform your household. We challenge traditional gender roles and highlight the importance of customizing tasks based on your family's unique needs rather than societal expectations. Parenting today comes with its own set of challenges and rewards, and we unpack strategies for maintaining a structured home environment. Learn how supplementary education during the summer can help keep your kids engaged and academically active year-round.

In our final segment, we shift our focus to the delicate balance between parenting and self-care. We share heartfelt stories about moving beyond superficial conversations with your children, understanding their emotions and experiences, especially during the tumultuous middle school years. From entrepreneurial ventures to concerns about bullying, we cover it all. As we wrap up, we stress the importance of prioritizing responsibilities and nurturing your relationship with your partner, exemplified by our upcoming movie date before the school year kicks off. Don't miss out on these practical tips and personal anecdotes that can help you thrive in both married life and parenthood.

Chapters

• 0:17 Balancing Work, Marriage, and Parenting
• 5:38 Parenting and School Dynamics
• 16:20 Parenting and Self-Care Balance
• 30:47 Prioritizing Children, Marriage, and Self-Care

Transcript

SYLVESTER: 0:17

Welcome to Relationships 101 Podcast, where we share experiences to help newlyweds and aspiring newlyweds understand the importance of a healthy relationship so that they can thrive in this world called married life. Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is Relationships 101 podcast, your introduction to a committed relationship. I'm your host, Sylvester Wilson.

JASMEKA: 0:39

And I'm your co-host, Chaz Mik Wilson.

SYLVESTER: 0:41

Yes, cheers, and it's back to school, y'all. It's back to school, man. It's back to school. Now I gotta off rip, I gotta give a confession.

JASMEKA: 0:58

What's your confession?

SYLVESTER: 1:00

My wife do most of this, more of a support system. But yeah, this is, this is her thing.

JASMEKA: 1:17

So today, what are we coming to tell the people?

SYLVESTER: 1:20

I mean, what we want to know is how do we balance all this out Work, marriage, how are we fitting all this in with the back to school thing? How do you balance it? Parenting we got the shopping method. So, first of all, how we get ready, because I know that you usually go online, but something different happened this year.

JASMEKA: 1:43

Oh yeah, this year those kids was like you are not buying me those pants that I don't know they call them the big pants. They call them big pants. I just went a size up because you gotta wear them for the year, so it was like we're not wearing the big pants this year, uh, so I had to actually take them to the store. So we at sawgrass going from store to store to find the skinny pants, I guess.

JASMEKA: 2:06

So the experience was different for this back to school year had to go out and get their stuff instead of letting it come to the house and we just receive it. So, um, yeah, preparation. Normally for us we start they get out of school in j by July we're ordering, but I kind of started late this year.

SYLVESTER: 2:28

Yeah, yeah.

JASMEKA: 2:29

That's why, when you like, how do we balance it all? I'm like you want me to be honest, Because this year that balancing looked a lot different. The kids was like mommy.

SYLVESTER: 2:38

It was different. It was like mommy, it was different. But see, like I said, I'm the support system, like mommy, it was different. But obviously, like I said, I'm the support system, they like mommy and I'm like, oh, it sounds like it was y'all fault With this request of I don't want the big pants, and so now she got to go through some extra stuff, got to be walking through the mall and all this other stuff. See, I know you usually do things online and it's usually done.

JASMEKA: 3:02

Done.

SYLVESTER: 3:02

You know what I'm saying. So this year they threw you for a loop. Yeah, so they had to wait.

JASMEKA: 3:09

I think we just finalized everything last weekend yeah, and I think we just went to the store two weeks ago.

SYLVESTER: 3:14

See.

JASMEKA: 3:14

So balancing that looked a little different this year and I don't feel like a failure because I think that's what we struggle with as women. Like like a failure because I think that's what we struggle with as women. We don't really pass the baton over to y'all because it's like I can do it, I got it, I want him to know I'm super mommy. But it came a point where I had to pass you the baton like hey, bae, I need you to do X, y, z, I need you to go do this, I need you to take Makai here, because I needed that, I mean you know my department, I'm I'm gonna take a look at the haircut.

SYLVESTER: 3:48

That's, that's, that's, you know that's. That goes without saying. Uh, I'm gonna set up the appointment, even if I can't, if I'm not, if I can't be there to actually take on me, I'm the one set up the appointment and all that. So you know, I do some things. I do some things so on today's topic.

JASMEKA: 4:03

That's why we're talking about how parenting looks in the household of a couple, a unit like. I don't want, you know. I don't want people to personally be together and feel like a single parent, because I think that's out there, like some people are in these relationships but they still feel like a single parent and that's a heavy burden. You want them to perform sexually, but they got to go to work, take the kids, cook and then perform. Thankfully, I don't have to do all that, because there's some days you in the kitchen more than me or, you know, vice versa, but I think parenting is a heavy conversation, especially with back to school. So I want to know you, you doing pick up or drop?

SYLVESTER: 4:56

off, I'm live with it, y'all. I mean I don't, I don't know, let's see, because guess what you?

JASMEKA: 4:59

know you normally do pick up, though majority of the time and I'll take the kids to the bus stop because he's at work and on his off days he get two days off. So all I ask is, on one of those days, let me sleep in late and you take the kids to the bus. And then you can get your other day. So that was something that we created. And then, as far as pick up, if I'm out and I'm working or something, he has to take his nap and go get the kids from the bus.

JASMEKA: 5:29

So we, you know, we improvise as needed and try to not make the scale tilt.

SYLVESTER: 5:34

No, no, no, we definitely juggle. That's also throwing there that. You know my wife works remotely, so it gives her a little bit. You know a lot of wiggle room, you know I'm saying in regards to that. And then my schedule is, it's crazy, the hour that I work anyway, my work schedule and I'm kind of, I'm working on that now we don't know how that's going to look, moving forward, but something's going to change there.

SYLVESTER: 6:04

But we work it the way we work it and I'm Um, but we work it the way we work it and I'm sure y'all work it the way y'all work it. Like we talk about what we always say everything is customary, like it's a custom, every relationship is a custom, is custom made. So, however, y'all need to get it done, like, let's get it done. But you, speaking of the power dynamic, you know I mean a lot of it. I'm sure too, some of it, I should say, has to do with the fact that my wife has a persistent brain type and she you can jump in there like, hey, let me, let me, let me help you out she like no, no, no, no, I got it. She would rather do it Right. So I'm just a support system. I'm a support system. I think I'm good at it. Like she would rather do it Right, so, um, I'm just a support system. I'm a support system, I think I'm good at it.

JASMEKA: 6:49

Um but from the outside looking in, people swear like people just be nosy, like they don't even know the setup or the system. But they could just look at a situation and judge oh, he do this, he do that, he do this, he do this, he do this. Stay out of people's house and I'm trying to come as softly as I can, but I think that start a lot of confusion. Oh, I see so-and-so daddy take his kids to school, but they don't. They don't even know the agreement.

SYLVESTER: 7:22

I mean, and that's the, that's the problem with comparing your thing with somebody else's thing because, come on, it hopefully is not the same. It shouldn't be the same. Yeah, totally different people with different circumstances and situations. It shouldn't look the same. So I primarily cook, I'm a, I'm the primary cook in the house, right, I primarily cook, I'm the primary cook in the house, right? It ain't? No, no gender based duties going on. It's like we get it done the way it need to get done. You know what I'm saying. And we're raising adults, so a lot of things we delegate to them as well. You know what I'm saying because y'all are part of the team as well, and we know because y'all are part of the team as well.

SYLVESTER: 8:07

And we're going to get it done so.

JASMEKA: 8:09

But I am grateful because this year we are at the same school. We have six, seven, eighth grade year. Before, last year we were at two schools.

SYLVESTER: 8:20

Yeah.

JASMEKA: 8:21

A couple of years before that, we were at three schools A couple of years before that we were at three schools.

JASMEKA: 8:26

So just imagine people be feeling like, oh my gosh, jazz and men are so secluded and they don't want to deal with nobody. Man I like be running. Listen, I have an uncle and an aunt here, but they stay ways away. But I have no family here. My husband have family here. His mom help out when she can, but your girl be gone sometimes too. So it's like in our home there is a system. We are running like a system. So thankfully this year I'm only at one school and thankfully we got a bus. So that's just, let me get them to the bus stop, let me pick them up from the bus stop. But it's more to that. So we're going to get in that too, because I think as parents we just drop these kids off to school and I hate the school system. We really want to homeschool these children but guess what? They don't want it. They like my friends socially. They're concerned about their social component.

SYLVESTER: 9:25

I mean, y'all know these kids ain't growing up the way we grew up you know what I'm saying With friends right on the same block, riding bikes together, climbing trees, like whatever. Like these kids ain't the same. So their social community ain't like that. It's like's like, for the most part, that's what they. They guess they get it from school. We used to get it from school and from the block, and you know what I'm saying like and from our street and around the corner, and you know what I'm saying. So they ain't got that, they ain't got that. So in that, in that that, in those aspects, we respect that and we understand that part.

SYLVESTER: 10:06

However, as parents, we looking at the macro, we looking at the big picture yeah, we ain't really ready to rely solely on public school system for the education of our children. Matter of fact, while we talk about preparation, one of the things that we've done over the years was and we, I think we gave this, we told this like maybe like episode one or something about how we set these, set our kids up like each summer, right, each summer you go to Target. We started out at Target on 99th Stove grabbing those books with the workbooks for the next grade level, and that's what they're working on. Also, that's what they're working on. And the following summer you're working on whatever grade you're going to for the next year, and that's to keep you acclimated to what you might be facing, and so your brain just don't go to sleep. And it's, it's worked. It's worked so far. Uh, we had some challenges with that this year. This summer summer, I mean, we, we had to take a couple of trips.

JASMEKA: 11:22

Yeah, we were busy.

SYLVESTER: 11:24

And trips could throw you off. When you home, it's the home front, the system, the whole program is running, but boy, when you have to hit the road or something, that thing could throw everything off like easy. So we, you know, we gonna see. We got some in though, they got some in though they, they, they got some in and we're going to, uh, definitely, definitely test that while we're watching them this year academically to see how it, how it plays out.

JASMEKA: 11:50

I just want to add to that, like I think it's important that we create an environment for our children to go into the schoolhouse, because when they go into the schools, that's where low self-esteem start. They're getting bullied. They're getting picked on Teachers, overlooking them or saying they're not smart enough, and then when they come into our homes whether it be the parents or the siblings that's tearing them down. I think we need to be very cautious of that and helping them with going back to school, Like let's be their safety net.

JASMEKA: 12:23

That when they come in, we building them up, because we already know when y'all go outside into them, school systems y'all getting torn down.

SYLVESTER: 12:30

Right.

JASMEKA: 12:30

So um.

SYLVESTER: 12:31

So that home, that home, we, we are their home and we should be their safe space. We should be their safe space, um, from bullying. We should be their safe space from, uh, safe space from feeling like they're inadequate, Like they ain't smart enough.

JASMEKA: 12:47

And we got to heal. Sorry.

SYLVESTER: 12:51

We definitely got to heal. We talk about that, the self-work, even as a parent. Just because you're the mama, just because you're the daddy, that don't mean you ain't got work to do on yourself, because the work that you don't do on yourself, it them kids have to put up with that. I'm going to just tell you straight up not only your spouse but them kids have to put up, they putting up with it too. And then they got to go into the school and they don't tell them what they dealing with.

JASMEKA: 13:16

Right.

SYLVESTER: 13:23

That they don't want to tell you about because you already dealing, you know exactly dealing with in a home. So, wait, wait, wait that now. So now we're bleeding over to the next, the next topic, which is actually, uh, you know, uh, supporting your child emotional, emotionally during the school year. Like how are we doing that? And we just kind of gave some ways, how are we? We doing that right, becoming that safe space for them.

JASMEKA: 13:44

I feel like we talking real mellow.

SYLVESTER: 13:48

We are talking mellow. We need y'all to what. People don't want to be here and people screaming.

JASMEKA: 13:56

No, I ain't saying screaming, I'm just saying we real chill about it. But I think that it's like I need to give a little more energy to it, because it's big.

JASMEKA: 14:06

No, no, no. I'm just saying it's a big problem in the schools, everybody wondering why Johnny, or whatever your kid name is, is failing. But in the home we're failing as parents. It's like oh, he's getting an F, he's getting a D, he's getting a, a, c. What are we doing at home? Every time he come through that door, do he hear mommy and daddy arguing and y'all beefing and y'all throwing stuff and y'all mommy stressed she don't know how she gonna pay the bills? Or what is that child hearing that he gotta take with him in a schoolhouse? And you talk about pass the test? Is my lights gonna be on when I get home? Right? Is mommy and daddy gonna be fighting again, right? Is daddy coming back home?

SYLVESTER: 14:47

right, and are you passing that that, whatever it is that you're dealing with, um down to that child through these interactions, right?

SYLVESTER: 14:55

yeah are they worried? Do they go to school worried? Are they afraid? Um, we really got to make sure that we're tapping in with these kids and, um, even just asking them you know, how was your day? Right, how was school we?

SYLVESTER: 15:14

You know that, like that's the least you could do, but that's the least we can do, but we got to go a little deeper. Y'all we got at least you know we like to do something where we said you know we'll follow that up with, ok, what was the best part of it for you? What was the worst part? You know what I'm saying, what you ain't like about it and why, right, let's try that. Because you know their world is their world and they spend more time, just like we do at work. We spend more time away there than we do with our family. So when we get together, it's on us to be intentional about tapping into that day, like you know, opening up a line of communication where it could be shared and they can feel safe with sharing their day, pouring it out If they love, vents or whatever the case is. That's helping them, right, that's healthy, that's creating like a healthy mindset, emotional temperature for them, being able to come home and kind of release some of that stuff.

JASMEKA: 16:20

Move past the how was school Good? And we just keep driving.

SYLVESTER: 16:24

Right.

JASMEKA: 16:24

Oh, that's good about it. What did you enjoy? Yeah, we got to move past the good.

SYLVESTER: 16:32

Yeah.

JASMEKA: 16:33

They don't really be good. They don't really be good.

SYLVESTER: 17:07

Okay, so, um, I know that there's times when we've run into this plenty of times, like throughout the years with our children, when it comes to when we are intentional about tapping into what's going on, and then we start seeing issues, whether it be emotional, whether it be, I mean, thank God, like you say, like this, it's a pretty special year. The three younger ones are, you know, our oldest one. He's in college, but the three younger ones are, for the first time, all in middle school together.

SYLVESTER: 17:43

pray for me it's, it's, it's incredible. Um, I'm up, my little girl. She got a little. Oh, both of them, both of them, the two youngest ones, they got their little business going. You know what I'm saying? Got a little hustle going.

JASMEKA: 17:55

Uh, selling, selling socks yeah, she said a little junk socks for ten dollars yeah, yeah, she he, he worked out a deal he worked out a deal with a percentage.

SYLVESTER: 18:05

Um, he helps her uh kind of design them and stuff and uh, she's more so the mouthpiece of it and the face of it. She go wear them and you know she's the brand ambassador.

SYLVESTER: 18:18

Hey y'all, come on, now, let's do it. So it's like how we preparing these children and that's one of the ways we doing it. So just showing them. We make it a big deal to show them that what actually creates your life and makes you you is what you do outside of school. What are you doing after school? What are you doing aside from what you're studying in school, what you're studying at home? What are you reading at home, outside of school?

SYLVESTER: 18:47

Because most of us, we didn't like to read when we was in school Me and you, we read a lot now. Now, I wasn't a reader like this in school. It was just y'all know how it go it was just I read it for the grade, I read it because I had to do it for that class or whatever the case is, and I'm talking about that's all the way up to college level. We still do that. But, um, showing them and reading books right, letting them catch you reading books, letting them catch you doing what it is that you're telling them that they should be doing, it is a big, is a big deal too and we are.

JASMEKA: 19:24

We as parents, we're just planting the seeds. Listen, other people gonna have to come along and water them.

SYLVESTER: 19:32

Because as parents.

JASMEKA: 19:33

we could tell them something, somebody else could come in and tell them the exact same thing and oh, now it connects. Oh, I think I'm just going to sir. I've been telling you that for the past two years. So let's just be intentional about planting the seeds and trusting God for the harvest. He's going to send some people alone that's going to water them. But if we ain't planting nothing and somebody else coming alone and planting them, what are they planting?

SYLVESTER: 19:58

What they planting.

JASMEKA: 19:58

What they planting. See, you got to get in there somewhere.

SYLVESTER: 20:03

Tell me.

JASMEKA: 20:03

So if we leaving it up to these teachers, their friends, we setting them up for disaster. So, yeah, the kids, be like be like mommy, I don't feel like going to school today. I'll be like why, somebody bullying you? Why this? Why, mommy, you always got?

SYLVESTER: 20:17

yes, I have why yeah, they don't be liking all the little extra they don't like the extra questions, but I need to know are you?

JASMEKA: 20:24

I'd be like are you okay? Are you mentally okay? Are you physically okay? Is somebody bullying you? Did somebody touch touch you? Is it a teacher? Tell me so I can know how to help you and not just be dropping our babies off to these school systems and trusting that they good. I'll see you at 5 pm. I'll provide your dinner, take a shower, go to bed.

SYLVESTER: 20:43

You know Eyes that babies, pappy, mm-mm. So.

JASMEKA: 20:54

She ain't gonna talk.

SYLVESTER: 20:58

I ain't even gonna say her name, but I heard it.

JASMEKA: 21:01

Don't say it, I heard it. Just keep talking, she ain't gonna talk, so yeah. I'm excited though.

SYLVESTER: 21:09

I'm excited about it too. My daughter is super excited, too excited. You know what I'm saying.

JASMEKA: 21:13

Oh yeah, she already got threatened.

SYLVESTER: 21:15

Listen, because she too excited.

JASMEKA: 21:16

It's like what's your motives, la girl, for this excitement? You don't.

SYLVESTER: 21:18

You know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, she already got threatened, listen. Because she too excited. It's like, what's your motives, little girl, for this excitement? Well, mine you being excited for school, because I remember when, when, when Jamarcus, when our first one was, was excited for school, but that's when he was like the only child yelling whoo whoo at every school bus that passed by and he was lonely and he wanted you know. He was excited for the social aspect of school and being around the kids. She's freaking, super excited. You want to tell what? Then you took her to the orientation and lost my baby.

JASMEKA: 21:52

I didn't lose your baby. No, no, no.

SYLVESTER: 21:55

What happened?

JASMEKA: 21:55

I went to the office to pick up Makai's uniform pants right.

SYLVESTER: 22:00

Okay.

JASMEKA: 22:00

And I told her she could stay with her friends and their moms. So when I came out, I'm calling her, she's not answering the phone. So I called a friend mom and I'm like, hey, where's Sahara? She was like girl, they walking around the school so your baby got missing in the school walking around just to know the scenery. But she on a contract, y'all. Her contract is if I hear any boy problems, teacher problems, girl drama too many times, one too many times.

SYLVESTER: 22:32

One too many.

JASMEKA: 22:33

Homeschool. Yeah, I know I'm just like make it happen because I want to do it anyway. I'm just like make it happen Because I want to do it anyway. So she's like no, no, we're not going to have those problems. So she on a contract. But I believe her heart is pure. So her is a social butterfly. She's the only girl in her, not in the house but amongst her brothers, so I think that'd be her outlet to be around girls and have fun.

SYLVESTER: 23:01

Understandable, yeah, understand, but we we watch, just know that. Just know that, uh, parents we have, I mean, we know it's a lot. It's a lot, uh, it can get hacked, especially throughout the year. You just never know. Teacher parent conferences. I mean, in all of this, like how we taking care of ourselves throughout this, we got to remember to take care of ourselves, make sure that we got a healthy routine that allows us to decompress from all of the heavy lifting that goes into parenting. So what do we do?

JASMEKA: 23:43

Take trips.

SYLVESTER: 23:44

We take trips.

JASMEKA: 23:46

You got Monday, we ain't going to be here.

SYLVESTER: 23:48

More so throughout the day, though. Right Just on a regular day, we'll take a walk around the block.

JASMEKA: 23:56

We'll go for lunch. We'll figure it out, we'll go for lunch.

SYLVESTER: 23:57

Yeah Well, we'll, yeah, yeah.

JASMEKA: 24:00

We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.

SYLVESTER: 24:02

We'll cook dinner for the kids and stab at somewhere and go sit down and be served. But I mean they're going to eat, Just might not eat weed.

JASMEKA: 24:17

Parents be encouraged in this season. Be intentional, make sure y'all creating we're creating a safe space for our children. Continue to do that individual work so that they can come to you guys, because I remember it was a point my oldest told me mom can't come to you because you're going to want to go to the school, talk to the teacher, pull the kid in, get the parents together. So some stuff. He held out of my fear of trying to confront everything. Right, so I had to take an approach to um kind of not be so aggressive about it and just ask him what he'll like me to do about it and if it works, we're going to take his approach. But if I need to add some more, I'm going to add some more. So be encouraged, pay attention to the babies we're praying for y'all. Enjoy each other. Don't lose your marriage or your relationship during this time. Never let your spouse feel like they're a single parent. Single parent that is a.

SYLVESTER: 25:20

That's a space it definitely is a space space and um.

JASMEKA: 25:27

If I ever make you feel like that, um, I apologize, no if you make me feel like that, I tell you I'll be like, babe, you, you picking up these kids today. You gotta pick these kids up today. I'm tired, I really cannot do it Listen, hey, we. I take the cap off when you need to yeah, you do, I know you do.

SYLVESTER: 25:53

A lot of times I'm not here for morning routines.

JASMEKA: 25:57

Right.

SYLVESTER: 25:59

Because I'm up, I'm up, I'm up, in a wee hours Right Already gone and thank God for ring you know what I'm saying.

SYLVESTER: 26:07

For the ring camera. I get to, you know, still get to tap in and you know, see what. You know how they looking in the morning, how they dressing, Even without them even knowing you know, see what you know, how they looking in the morning, how they dressing. Uh, even without them even knowing you know, I see him walking out the door, going to the car and getting in. It made me feel like I was at least there a little bit. Yeah, I get to do the speaker say something on the little speaker while they on the porch walking to the car. So you know, we pray for these babies. We got to pray together, hold them baby's hands.

SYLVESTER: 26:43

Man, y'all form a circle and teach them that it's important to. It's important to set your own atmosphere, your own environment, before you walk into an environment. We don't know what's waiting at school. We don't know what's waiting you know what I'm saying in the hallway, in the office. We don't know what the teacher going through. They might not be good with keeping home stuff at home and not bringing things to work.

SYLVESTER: 27:10

Let's teach these babies how to set an atmosphere of their own, mentally and emotionally, before they walk into somebody else's emotional atmosphere and so that they're not so affected by it. So hold them baby's hand, you know, let's form a circle, let's pray together and let's instill that in them, because one day it's going to be somebody's job they go into right, or it's going to be them. You know, starting their day in their business, and they just got to know that this is how you start your day. Let's put God first. Let's do this in a way that is beneficial not just to us, but even the people that we come into contact throughout the day. We don't want to be walking sores bleeding on people Like no, you got to get your mindset right first. What you do when you get up, how do you do that for you?

JASMEKA: 28:07

Which one?

SYLVESTER: 28:08

Get your mindset for the day, yeah.

JASMEKA: 28:10

I lay in that bed for a minute, just like after I wake up, because we take phones at nighttime. There is no phones in the room, so they don't have. We got to well. We don't order alarm clock, but I'm the alarm clock for now because there's no phones at night. So I just wake them up and I lay there while they they're older, so they're on in their own clothes getting themselves ready. But I just lay in bed, say my prayer, breathe in, breathe out, and be like all right, I'm gonna get up, or some mornings when I'm tired, I sleep, do they?

JASMEKA: 28:43

tell me they're ready to go after I woke them up and then I just make sure everybody got everything. We look, we look good and we walk out the door and say our prayer in the car and we have a special prayer that we all say together. Everybody know it and that be our prayer. But that's my morning routine. Some days I do all the meditation in the prayer and some days I sleep. Sometimes, jesus, come back and be like I told you to pray and I come back to find you sleep. Yes, lord, I was tired sometimes, that being your girl.

JASMEKA: 29:12

But I think, as moms, we just need to um, be okay with taking off the cap, the um cape. So I think we don't ask for help because we want the y'all to feel like we got it, we good, we mamas, it's gonna be all right. I've been there like for some time, for some years, like you say. Oh, she got a persistent brain type. She's gonna be like I got it, I got it. I think that was just the mother. Like you feel like I'm the mom. I gotta take this, I gotta do this, take that cap off and get some help, okay, okay, both of y'all cap too, but the cape, we got to take it off and just be okay with.

SYLVESTER: 29:51

I need help yeah and ask for it. And, speaking of help, if you see them kids, at any point Lacking in the area in school, like, come on, let's get to a point where we invest in these children and it's more, it's bigger than just the sneakers they got on their feet. Pay for some tutoring, right, that could be the difference. For one, it'll boost their um self-esteem and when, in regards to learning things, because a child could be feeling like that's just it for the rest of my life. I'm just not good at math. That ain't so not not if we got something to do with it. You go ahead and I'm gonna pay for you tutor and guess what? All of a sudden, you're good at math, and now you ain't got to be 48 years old. Talk about, I was never good at math, though right to get it.

SYLVESTER: 30:48

You know what I'm saying? It's not, uh, what I heard. I heard somebody say this, or maybe I saw a post or something, and I love it. Um, let's not focus so much on giving our children what we never had, but teaching our children what we never knew. That's, that's very, that's more important, very, very, very, very vital. So I mean, what, what? What we doing now?

JASMEKA: 31:13

We, we about to uh we about to get out of here. We about to.

SYLVESTER: 31:17

We about to get out of here.

JASMEKA: 31:18

We about to get a fun day y'all Got a movie date before school starts.

SYLVESTER: 31:21

We got a movie date before school.

JASMEKA: 31:23

y'all this is what we do, so we better get out of here.

SYLVESTER: 31:28

So, however, y'all can get it in, man, just make sure the responsibilities are taken care of first.

JASMEKA: 31:31

Dinner sir.

SYLVESTER: 31:34

You know school clothes, everything is taken care of. And then take care of you. Take care of you man, make sure y'all good, make sure the union is solid, y'all still enjoying each other, uh company.

JASMEKA: 31:50

And we out.

SYLVESTER: 32:07

Peace. Welcome to relationships 101 podcast where we share experiences to help newlyweds and aspiring newlyweds understand the importance of a healthy relationship so that they can thrive in this world called married life.