Relationships101Podcast

NOTHING BETWEEN US PT. 3 : Keeping Your Relationship Strong Amid Financial Struggles

• Season 1 • Episode 18

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Can finances make or break your relationship? In this eye-opening episode of Relationships 101, we unpack the profound influence money has on partnerships. From achieving financial stability to managing financial hardships, we emphasize the crucial balance between pursuing economic goals and nurturing the relationship. Sharing our own experiences, we illustrate how involving each other in financial decisions and planning can fortify your bond and ensure that love remains at the forefront, even amid financial pressures.

Ever felt strained trying to juggle love and money? Tune in as we delve into maintaining a healthy relationship during financially challenging times. We spotlight the importance of constant communication, setting aside time for quick check-ins, and the positive impact of unscheduled lunch dates on your partnership. We tackle the often-overlooked effects of financial stress on family dynamics and stress the importance of open dialogues about personal habits and financial pressures to ensure mutual understanding and proactive planning.

Building a financial foundation together can be daunting, but it’s essential. We discuss the importance of preparing for serious commitments, starting with multi-unit properties in real estate, and the complexities that arise when wealth suddenly enters the picture. Using personal anecdotes, we illustrate our journey from modest beginnings to financial stability, underscoring that faith, teamwork, and determination are vital. No matter the economic ups and downs, we emphasize that maintaining core values and strong bonds should always take precedence to ensure lasting love and partnership.

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SYLVESTER:

Welcome to Relationships 101 Podcast, where we share experiences to help newlyweds and aspiring newlyweds understand the importance of a healthy relationship so that they can thrive in this world called married life. Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is Relationships 101, your introduction to a committed relationship. I'm your host, Sylvester Wilson.

JASMEKA:

And I'm your co-host, Shamika Wilson.

SYLVESTER:

Yes. Hey, hey I almost said you're so welcome.

JASMEKA:

Miss Wilson, you're so welcome. So we are back again, guys, with another.

SYLVESTER:

don't let nothing get in between us another part of the series um what else can potentially get in the way of you and your boo? Money, money, money money oh, we back on this money, man, because guess what?

JASMEKA:

it's one, it's a tool it answers all things something people be getting mixed up with that scripture. They be like money is evil. People be getting mixed up with that scripture. They be like money is evil. Nah, can you please go back and put the love of money is evil, Because, baby, we need money.

SYLVESTER:

And we need love. So that's what we're here talking about right now, and it's been said before that finance kills romance. It do, it do. It's a very powerful component of the relationship. If it's bad, then it's bad. If that money good, oh, it's good. We good, Then it could be good right.

SYLVESTER:

Yeah, it can be Right, right, it can be Right, right. So how can money get in between us? Money? It could either be the pursuit of money, just the grind, day to day going after it. We can tend to get lost in that and lose each other. You know what I'm saying. Some of y'all out there, y'all grinding, grinding, grinding. Y'all barely get to see each other Like we understand how that go. Y'all barely get to. You know you may get to brush up between each other while y'all passing by each other.

JASMEKA:

Real quick.

SYLVESTER:

Real quick. You know what I'm saying, but for the most part y'all ain't been able to sit down much, you know, and really get that qt so you know you're gonna have people that um kind of try to object what you're saying because it's like, okay, you're saying money.

JASMEKA:

Saying money, you know, can kill romance, financing can kill romance. So somebody might feel like, well, if I'm not out here grinding, if I'm not getting it, then she's not going to be happy. So I can't. I got to do this, like I got to grind and I got to pay these bills.

SYLVESTER:

Right.

JASMEKA:

So somebody will try to counter that.

SYLVESTER:

Well, no, you do. You do got gotta grind. You know what I'm saying. You do gotta pay them bills. But if you ain't had a means to do it, it'll be even worse. And your relationship is just that more important, because otherwise, what are you grinding for? I heard Shaq say What'd he say? Shaq said he had to sleep in that mansion by himself.

JASMEKA:

I'd be scared.

SYLVESTER:

Shaq said he got a big, super duper bed, but landing it by himself, it just ain't what's up.

JASMEKA:

I'd be like what that noise was.

SYLVESTER:

It's scary. So, shaq, we feel you, and just as well as the pursuit of money, can kind of pull us apart sometimes. Uh, not having enough could also do the thing right, yeah, and then having too much sometime could also be a deterrent to us getting closer together. Let's get into the conversation. Let's get into it.

JASMEKA:

Let's get into it. I first want to go back, because you were saying, yeah, you got to make the money. But I think your main thing with that is is, um, boundaries, like discipline, like yes, you do have to grind, maybe it's a nine to five or 11 to seven or um, it's your own entrepreneurship. So sometimes you do got to take the trips when you building up yourself in the beginning. But what I think you saying is try to strategize it where it includes that other person. Right, strategize it where it includes that other person.

JASMEKA:

So, like in our pursuit, we after the bag, but it's like we gonna do this together. So we run to conferences together, we up at night trying to figure out relationships 101 podcast together, like I think we just include each other in it and that's how we're able to, you know, not get lost in the sauce yeah, got to.

SYLVESTER:

Because if it's just you, you, you, you, you and you just focused on your grind instead of focused on our grind, then by the time you look up, it's like what, what, what? My partner, you gotta constantly check for him, you gotta check for him. Hey, how you doing today, how's it going? You you know, let let each other vent, get it out, get the steam out and then keep it moving. Um, some sometimes listen this, this I remember them days. But it had to be like that. It had to be touch and go. It had to be um unscheduled, um occurrences, unscheduled scheduled uh meetings, um, those, those lunch dates. Right, when I say lunch date, I'm trying to keep pg, uh, but them lunch, them lunch dates. You know what I'm saying. That wasn't really planned, it was just. You know, let's go ahead and get it in right quick and keep it moving.

JASMEKA:

But I think I think we got through that because we we understood it was for a season. So if you are, if you guys do got a grind, because it is seasons where it's like okay, whether we saving for a down payment or we need something coming up or we trying to reduce some debt, I believe there are seasons where you guys may go through not seeing each other as much or not being home as much. But let's time it, let's know like it's. You know it's temporary. Let's communicate how this gonna look, what we gonna do, because them scheduled lunch dates what he's talking about that was pulling up where he was at I ain't gonna say where he worked, but it was we gotta do what we gotta do, or you know, so it just happened. So I think, communicating, hey, we're about to go through this season where we yeah, we know what we're doing it for and this is what it.

SYLVESTER:

This is what it may look like yeah, it'll be more received.

JASMEKA:

It'll be more received yeah, um, and not.

SYLVESTER:

Not only could your companion, you know, suffer in that if if you, you're not cognizant of what's going on, but the children as well. If y'all got children in the equation, it's easy to for them to get lost in the sauce, because, mommy and daddy, it's just, we just move. You know what I'm saying. We ain't really got a lot of time to be, you know, but you got to check in with them too, something that we started to do and can't say we all the way faithful with it yet. Right, but we started it and we intend to continue it. Right, continue it right. It's taking out those 20 minutes, 20 minutes a day with each child. That may whatever's realistic for you and how you're moving, though right now, because we may have to scale back and say 20 minutes a week For everybody.

SYLVESTER:

You know what I'm saying 20 minutes a week, or 20 minutes everybody all together, like here's a dollar. You know what I'm saying? Y'all pass this dollar around Just so. We may have to do that, but we learn in it how you know how it applies to us and what's best. And that's what all of us got to do, right, we got to kind of just apply it to how it fits us and how we move.

JASMEKA:

Let's just acknowledge this may be an uncomfortable conversation. People don't like to talk about their finances, their belief and who they voting for president. So we understand if this isn't a topic that you just ain't receiving right now. Like we fighting. Right now, we're going to fight. We're challenging these toxic relationships, or these relationships that's in, and prematurely, for what they call it. What is this? Reconcilable, irreconcilable differences. Like the difference was just that he worked all day Right, and it's like how can we avoid this? Like what is going on? Is it that y'all need the finances? Y'all built this much debt up? How can you support that spouse? Or like what's the? How long this going to be? Or if you're just a workaholic and you know, like this is who I am, I have no peace when I'm not working.

JASMEKA:

Then probably consider staying alone. Why are you pulling somebody in their lifestyle when all you're going to do is come at home, come home at night and want sex?

SYLVESTER:

Or go to sleep, or go to sleep Cause night and want sex.

JASMEKA:

Or go to sleep, or go to sleep because you're so tired.

SYLVESTER:

Right, or go to sleep, or go to sleep.

JASMEKA:

But yeah, so that's. I think we went in enough on.

SYLVESTER:

I mean, you know bottom line, it just has to be agreed upon. It has to be an agreed upon situation that we both agree to take on and deal with whatever comes with it, and what you can do is try to anticipate what goes along with it, right? So I like to ask you know what are some possible things that could go wrong, or what are some possible things that we could? You know things that could happen because of this? That way you get to try to be proactive with these things instead of trying to be reactive about them, just let them happen and then y'all trying to gather y'all self to try to fix it.

JASMEKA:

I blame it on Adam and Eve.

SYLVESTER:

You blame it on who, adam and Eve it on adam and eve.

JASMEKA:

We could have probably stayed together all day, which I don't think. Being around somebody all day, every day, jeez, those breaks are necessary. But I blame it on them because they got us kicked out and now we got to work hard. So some people are put in positions where they got to grind sun up to sundown, learn a skill, surround yourself with people that ain't working as hard. To be honest, the people that make the most money do the least amount of work. You just look at your job.

SYLVESTER:

So we talk about, that's on the grind, that's when you actually in it and that's how it can kind of pull you away.

SYLVESTER:

But what if it's not enough money? And I'm sure that's why y'all grinding in the first place, but at the same time just saying that there's a lack in this particular season right now that we have to deal with and we have to kind of live through it until that's not our reality anymore. I'm not saying that you should ever live in lack mentally you know what I'm saying and walk around with that type of mentality. However, if that's the case right now um, it has to always be a reason right, either we paying off some debt so that we can get to another place, we got a goal that we trying to reach. It's some reasons may be different for everybody, but whatever those reasons are that we're actually doing without for this particular season, then that's where we at and that could kind of really put a dent in it, because now we're faced with a lifestyle that we may be used to but we can't really move like that right now and that could agitate you know what I'm saying. That could agitate some people. That could start some arguments.

JASMEKA:

I first want to say that's a heavy, heavy topic Because it's real. In our community it is Like it's real.

SYLVESTER:

Yeah.

JASMEKA:

So to say that this seven-minute conversation is the end-all be-all? It's not, but it's an issue that we definitely got to deal with. So, not having enough being in a relationship, I first want to ask why you don't have enough. Is it your spouse is lazy and don't want to work? Is it opportunities Like why? Why, like we in America, people come to america to thrive and do better and be better okay why?

JASMEKA:

why, like now, okay for us, when we had our downtime I ain't gonna call it downtime, but when we had our money ain't stretched so far. Oh, okay, it was. Okay, it was.

SYLVESTER:

Downtime. I'm like downtime.

JASMEKA:

No, it was because I was a stay-at-home mom. Okay, I chose, I got you, we chose, we agreed Stay at home with the kids, I'll work, I'll pay the bills. It was an agreement. Yeah, now for me to look at our situation and want to leave or say I hate this lifestyle because you couldn't provide anything extra that I wanted, like, you met my needs, but you weren't able to meet all my wants.

SYLVESTER:

Right.

JASMEKA:

So for me to be selfish and be like I'm out, why you out, go get a job. But I want to know why, like why, are y'all in this situation? Is it that y'all don't know how to budget? Somebody has a criminal background and they got to get a low-paying job. Okay, use that low-paying job to learn a skill, strategy or technique to level up and get some more money. Like it's out here, whether it's you washing the cars, you cutting grass, you trading real estate, take you a little journey to get there. Don't don't try, don't don't try to jump out thinking you're gonna be a millionaire overnight in real estate. But I just feel like, just feel like it's an, it's an excuse, it's an excuse.

SYLVESTER:

So some of us may be starting out right Fresh new. Um, the downtime that you talk about, that's kind of like where we was at. That was our season of of of. It was a new thing. You know what I'm saying. It was new to us. We had to kind of find our way. We didn't have a lot of people that was kind of you know, there to give us that type of game as to how to pick ourself up and get some movement going. We kind of just had to figure that out. We had to know what we wanted first. We had to agree upon what we wanted. A lot of praying, a lot of writing it down.

JASMEKA:

That's where they get lost at.

SYLVESTER:

What's that?

JASMEKA:

A lot of praying. We prayed and we worked.

SYLVESTER:

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

JASMEKA:

They just be praying and sitting and waiting on God and that's why y'all still stuck in this bondage or y'all still stuck in poverty, like that ain't a part of our birthright right so if y'all out there just praying it's gonna get better, it's gonna get better, all right it is, and what you gonna do, sorry, sorry I just that's, but that's for the people.

SYLVESTER:

Who is cause? Um, I know that we got a lot of I know it's a lot of power couples out there that's praying and grinding at the same time and y'all doing the right thing, but that don't make it no easier, though. You know what I'm saying. That don't make it no easier. That's just the season we in right now and, man, you just got to get comfortable being uncomfortable what do you mean?

SYLVESTER:

you got to be comfortable. You got to be um, content, right. Content don't mean that you're settling for where you are, but it does mean that I know where I'm headed and I know why I'm doing right. I know every move that I'm making is calculated and it's for a reason. I understand the sacrifices that are being made right now, because it's all for where we're going. It's all for where we're headed. The frustrations are going to come, but you just got to remind yourself like this is for a reason. It's for a better reason. It's for a better reason, it's for a better us. Like we had it. Let's keep our eyes on the future. Let's keep our eyes on the prize and not get lost in what the present might be showing us.

JASMEKA:

To my power couples. Let me tell y'all what I hear the people that's, in this stage of money, tight money ain't right. It's a bridge. We do these vision boards, we put up these. Nice, I want this five bedroom three with the Tesla, with the dog and the picket fence and it is in that and you just visualize that. So, where we get lost, that it's a bridge to get to that. So what do we have to do to cross this bridge to get over there? Like what is that what it look like?

SYLVESTER:

what are the steps?

JASMEKA:

what are the steps? Communicate it, talk about it now. If you just got somebody who know we want this as an end goal and not trying to help you cross that bridge, maybe you don't need to let them jump over the broom like, don't jump over the broom. Like, don't jump over the broom, don't they jump over a broom before they get married? Some people don't, oh to get married.

SYLVESTER:

Yeah, that's old, we do it.

JASMEKA:

But before you call yourself jumping over a bridge, before you call yourself walking over a bridge, make sure they can jump over Before you jump over the bridge jump on the broom before you jump over the broom. That's what my baby's trying to say make sure that you can walk over the bridge. Yeah, yeah, before you jump that room, make sure they gonna be ready in the right one to walk over the bridge meaning what?

SYLVESTER:

take those steps necessary?

JASMEKA:

steps and a bridge is held up by pillars. So who are y'all pillars that need to come into your relationship and teach our strategies, tools, resources, like who are y'all pillars that need to come into y'all relationship and teach our strategies, tools, resources, like who are those people holding up the bridge while you're walking over? Because poverty ain't our birthright, it's not, it don't have to be. But if you just got somebody that ain't willing to cross that bridge, I ain't going to say throw them off the bridge, because people really doing it. Lord deliver them, but like, but like, don't, don't cross it with them. We relationships 101, right, helping people get to committed relationships. Don't make the commitment like.

JASMEKA:

When I met him, he was working at the park part time During my time. That was okay, like, I'm like no problem, cool, okay, we going that's what it is right now. And I knew that in the end it wasn't going to be like that. But I saw that he was willing and determined to cross over. When he met me, your girl was just a college student with no money, more debt than anything. But what did you see that made you say, okay, I believe I could cross the bridge with this one.

SYLVESTER:

I knew that you was ready to go though you, you, you had the faith and the determination and you was really willing to do like, whatever it take you know what I'm saying for us to get what we need to be at, and um, that's all I needed to see like let's go okay, and my point in that is there are everybody's different.

JASMEKA:

Some people may feel like some women may feel like I don't want to work, a man gotta take care of me. Well since, go find that man, because he in the next, next category for us, where they got too much money. I've seen a post where people was like I'd rather cry in a whatever than crying in a Honda. Baby, give me my Honda with some AC. I don't want to cry in a Bentley. Why I got to cry. So it works for everybody. What works for us may not work for y'all. Don't try to compare your relationship to somebody else. Right, because I like to work. I'm a mover. I can't sit at home. I think I'd be depressed trying to be somebody else's housewife, but sorry.

SYLVESTER:

So so.

JASMEKA:

Yeah, money is my topic. When we talking money numbers prosperity. I'm for it because I'm tired of us being stuck to this $10 minimum wage. Like we are more than that, like we can get it. Like everybody want overnight success, everybody want overnight money. Everybody want this man to be making six figures by the end of the year. Can you help him get to the six? Do you know how to make his money grow?

SYLVESTER:

like we got a responsibility too yeah, yeah, y'all, y'all show, help it grow. That's what I believe that a woman is, is is is she come with that. You guys are nurturers and you help things grow. Um, the man just got to be able to give you something to grow, right, I like that. I like that. This is good. So when we started out, we was in a room at my grandma's house Just a room, my room, thank.

JASMEKA:

God, they had a bathroom in there.

SYLVESTER:

They did have a bathroom in there, thank God, but it was my room at a bathroom in there and didn't have a bathroom um, but it was. It was my room at my grandma's and um we did that for a year saving money. Saving money, paying off debt. Just everything we can do on our end to position ourselves for what we was asking God for Clearing out debt, saving up money, working.

JASMEKA:

Well, you was just working. Yeah, I was working.

SYLVESTER:

I was your schoolgirl, listen, it was God did his thing, he did his thing, we was faithful and he was faithful and we came out in the end and he, he gonna be faithful as long as you right, don't put it all on yourself, um, the best thing that, the smartest thing I ever did was was was put it on god and tell anybody that had questions about how y'all gonna do this because my daddy sure came with the questions. I wasn't trying to put my dog out there. My daddy sure came with the questions.

JASMEKA:

I wasn't trying to put my dog out there, not my daddy had questions. Sir, you live at home with your grandma. How you gonna take care of her? She has a child. She's coming with a child. How are you gonna take care of them?

SYLVESTER:

Listen, james, I was not. I ain't say it, he did it, he she. I mean, put you out there like that.

JASMEKA:

Yeah, my daddy did it, he did it. And he asked me the questions how you, this man with his grandma, like how you going.

SYLVESTER:

So the only thing I could at some point in the phone call this is a phone call y'all and I just was like listen, I ain't got no answers for you. I ain't even finna sit here and try to make nothing up, because this ain't a situation I ever been in. The only thing I can tell you is that at this point God always had me. You know what I'm saying and I gotta trust that, whatever happens, he got me still and I just put it on him.

JASMEKA:

Boy, I love my daddy. Let me just let y'all laugh real quick. You didn't have a car at that time either I did no, you was not during that time.

JASMEKA:

I think your car had got. You had a car when we were dating, but something happened to your car when it was time for me to move down and be with you, right, yeah. So after he told him God got me, he was like I guess God will have you when you walk in too. That was just my daddy being hurt that I was leaving that house. He didn't want to let me go. He wasn't ready to sit me on and believe God to do his work. So he made his little jokes and my father loves my husband Like he. He'd be like y'all. My couple, like y'all are a true example to a power couple, to me, cause he's seen the beginning. He's seen where we are now. He see where we're trying to go. Like he was, you was worth crossing that bridge, bae. Well, jumping the broom because you got to jump the broom before we cross the bridge. So I ain't literally jump a broom, but we're married.

JASMEKA:

So, you was worth it.

SYLVESTER:

You was worth it.

JASMEKA:

But, baby, if you would have showed me by year three or five that we was still going to be at your grandma's Thank you, lord, I probably would have unjumped God forget five, and we was still gonna be at your grandma's.

SYLVESTER:

Thank you, lord.

JASMEKA:

I probably would have unjumped, unjumped, that bro nah, this ain't so.

SYLVESTER:

Another thing, too. Another thing, too, that we had to share with them is that not only did we start out in the room right, but I had a part time job.

JASMEKA:

Part time job 30 hours no work. And your 30-hour schedule was literally like they want to give you a little bit of money but they want to take his whole day. He was gone from 11 to 8 pm. Yeah, monday through Friday, some Saturdays.

SYLVESTER:

So yeah, so it was hard. You know the time, the time the family needed time and I was listen, got to do what we got to do.

JASMEKA:

I used to dress Jamarcus up baby, and we did walk to the park sometimes. Yeah, walk to that park and sit out there because, uh, sir, we miss you too. We here too. That go back to the earlier conversation. Get creative and understand what it is like, yeah, so let's jump to that last one. That was heavy. So, yeah, it was heavy.

SYLVESTER:

So so, going from all of that, you know what I'm saying. And then, uh, one more piece.

JASMEKA:

Okay.

SYLVESTER:

Sorry, we actually. So what we did was we I. It was always necessity with us. God always moved us on with necessity, like even if you see us, with whatever we might have at this present day, it was because we actually needed it, not because it was something we wanted. Not saying we don't get things we want, like of course.

SYLVESTER:

But if you need A lot of the big things that people be like swearing like wow, y'all you know, and dang because we wanted it. It's because we actually needed it. You know what I'm saying. But we did and we went to the courthouse and got married. We actually eloped.

JASMEKA:

Eloped. Y'all will hear that story a whole nother day.

SYLVESTER:

So we went to the courthouse and got married and then, 10 years later right Because, like I said, we well, I'm going to say we grinded- no, you was grinding baby. I was grinding, you was at school, I was grinding, we grinded and focused on that. We went ahead and just handled that. Got married.

JASMEKA:

Got married.

SYLVESTER:

But then, 10 years later, on our 10-year anniversary, we went ahead and renewed our vows, got married. But then, 10 years later, it's for our 10 year anniversary, we went ahead and renewed our vows and that's when we actually had our wedding, our wedding ceremony, and then, voila, like it ain't something we planned. We ain't planned it like that from the jump, but the way it happened to look up and all our kids are there like a part of the wedding and there being a part of the wedding and they're being a witness of something like that, like you should put a little snippet you should put a little snippet of the wedding, either before or after, in this video.

SYLVESTER:

Sorry, I just visualized it it was incredible, she got vision shock it was incredible it was incredible. You know, look up and everybody and all them crying, all they little faces, they crying. I don't even know if they knew what they crying about, my parents crying, but we crying, so they crying, and it was a beautiful thing. So we didn't know as much that we know. You know, we didn't know as much as we know now.

JASMEKA:

We got a our.

SYLVESTER:

that we know we didn't know as much as we know now. Our first home was a single family home.

JASMEKA:

If it was up to us, we wouldn't have did it like that Later, we later learned.

SYLVESTER:

We wouldn't have did it like that. Yeah, if it was up to us, if we knew what we know now, we wouldn't have did it like that. You know what I'm saying. We would have went ahead and got that multifamily right and stayed on one side and rented the other side out and da-da-da-da-da until we got up to either another multifamily. You know what I'm saying. We would have just kept it going until we can buy that dream house. A lot of y'all who might be starting out. That's a good play. Go big, that's a good play.

SYLVESTER:

Go big, that's a good play.

JASMEKA:

Instead of we're taught, do one, start at one which is a single family, then two, three, four. No, do it the other way around. Get you a quad first, go big. Four, three, two, one, then you got that one as your dream home. Because four, three, two, two, pan for it. How many doors? That is four plus seven, eight, eight doors. Pan for that one. We are so four.

SYLVESTER:

Yeah, four plus three is seven, two is nine, and then yeah yeah, yeah it purchases the tenth.

JASMEKA:

Yeah.

SYLVESTER:

I'm here for you, baby. I'm here for you.

JASMEKA:

Because somebody was going to tell me in the comments. Probably I got it wrong, but I'm glad you knew the calculation.

SYLVESTER:

Listen, if you check yourself, you got to get checked.

JASMEKA:

Well, yeah, that's nine doors paying for your dream home. We were told go and get the single family. Nah.

SYLVESTER:

Mm-mm Going to get a single family. Nah, they ain't the best.

JASMEKA:

Play Our kids ain't playing like this Exactly.

SYLVESTER:

Go on and get a multi-unit, live on that one side and let it go, and hopefully it's at the point in your life where that's actually your first home for both of y'all, so both of y'all can actually utilize that.

JASMEKA:

Uh, first time home buyers that low percentage opposed to that 20 exactly.

SYLVESTER:

You know, it's a few plays out here. It's a few plays out here. We're gonna get into it. Uh, on another segment, we're gonna add a segment to this. Um, we're gonna add a segment to this that's strictly about business and money. You know what I'm saying Marriage, life with business and money. We're going to add a specific segment so we can kind of share things that we were able to utilize, tools and information that we was able to utilize in our journey.

JASMEKA:

Awesome. Last but not least, our journey Awesome.

SYLVESTER:

Last but not least, so we cover how the money can take you apart when you chasing it, when you after it, when you in that grind mode. We cover how the money can take you away from each other when you ain't got it. You ain't got it Right, it's dry. So now, how can the money take you away from your, from your partner? When you got too much, though, because, come on, we supposed to be balling right now.

JASMEKA:

Some people ball with other people. Ooh, they got too many balls, ooh.

SYLVESTER:

Not too many paws.

JASMEKA:

Just saying they got too much. They done became too prideful, just arrogant and yeah like I mean listen when that money hits you, I, I, I want you to remain true listen you know, that's our thing. Like nigga, we done, we done been eating one chicken breast. When 10 breasts come, you better make sure you stay focused on these two.

SYLVESTER:

Can I say pause for that. Or PG, pg, so, pg. So yeah, we can ball too hard. We can ball so hard and sometimes it can get in the way of the team teamwork dang. How can a team break up? How you gonna let the team break up when we start balling, though you supposed to have fun. That's what we doing it for together, right? I don't know doing it for together, right? I don't know we getting, we getting rich together.

JASMEKA:

I only got like eight dollars. But yeah, well, that part, listen, that's a, that's a territory.

SYLVESTER:

I think once we're fully in it, like we're, that's a territory I think, once we're fully in it, we're at the cuffs of it, but we ain't throwing billions of dollars on our bed For one. Let's just acknowledge that money is a powerful drug. Let's do that, just like money power. You know positions. Sometimes people get it and they not changing. Don't say they changed, it's just they became more of who they already was. And so we want to do that self-work that we've been talking about to make sure that we're solid before that money hit. You know what I'm saying Before it hit that account that we've been talking about to make sure that we're solid before that money hit. You know what I'm saying Before it hit that account that we solid.

JASMEKA:

They get it and just feel like F you F this.

SYLVESTER:

It get real hazy and cloudy.

JASMEKA:

I'm going to make it rain. I'm hanging with my dogs.

SYLVESTER:

It get real hazy and cloudy. Let's stay loyal to the ones who helped us get the. Let's do that. Let's stay loyal to the ones. Let's stay loyal to the ones that helped us get there. I think if we take it from there, we can end up in a good place.

JASMEKA:

Right.

SYLVESTER:

Let's not get drunk off the success because it's seasonal. That success is seasonal, right, we talking about balling? Right, I'm using these type of analogies, I'm throwing words, but that success is seasonal. So know that. Who was with you off season? You know what I'm throwing words, but that success is seasonal, so know that. Who was with you offseason? You know what I'm saying. Who was with you offseason? I think what they like to say by Kobe, like she wasn't with me shooting in the gym, yeah, but she had that plate ready, that dinner ready when you got home from the gym, though. So let's, let's keep it a1, without day ones. I think that'll keep our heads on straight. What you got to say, baby, because it could take you ain't gonna take me.

JASMEKA:

I don't, I don't love it like that, like money for me, truly and honestly. Honestly it's like honestly, it's a resource like I really like naturally I'm a giver um, I want to enjoy it with like I truly enjoy you. So maybe people got the money and this was their way out of the marriage Because they really ain't enjoy it from the beginning, but they just didn't want to leave because they ain't have it.

SYLVESTER:

I mean. Hopefully they make it to the marriage though, because y'all could be down right now in a committed relationship and sometimes you know it can crash out. You can get successful before it even happened, and that could be the downfall, and I just hate when it happens.

JASMEKA:

You guys, some people feel like boy when I hit this lotto. I'm out. I'm out of this relationship.

SYLVESTER:

Oh, my God.

JASMEKA:

I don't want to go nowhere. So that's why I'm saying, if the money come like, I'm genuinely happy.

SYLVESTER:

Like, if the money come'm just gonna be even more happy. Like, can we take a trip every weekend, exactly so so check this out, look right. So hey, I'm calling a name, please don't but story story. Um, I'm at work and you know around a bunch of older gentlemen, um, different, all different races, and they talking about, if they win the lottery, what they going to do. And I'm going to tell you it was a shame that most of them was talking about how they going to lead a wife.

JASMEKA:

It's real, it's real.

SYLVESTER:

And I'm talking about and I believe them.

JASMEKA:

It's real, they believe theyself. They believe it too.

SYLVESTER:

But I could not like, really I couldn't fathom how you going to wait till you get it to say I quit it, how you going to wait till you get it Like we supposed to be balling together, this is what we've been waiting on. You wait until you cross the finish line to say I'm out of here, like. So what they told me is that obviously they wasn't happy.

SYLVESTER:

You know, what I'm saying. Obviously, they weren't happy. They had, like, you got a lot of people who y'all you know, cheaper yeah, not y'all, because y'all power couples um, but you got a lot of people. That that's. That's because of, you know, inflation and a lot of things changing in the economy.

JASMEKA:

You stay downstairs, I stay upstairs.

SYLVESTER:

Y'all like really just married roommates you know what I'm saying or married roommates and y'all just paying them more. The only reason why people are still together some people are still together is because they can't pay that mortgage and bill by themselves, and that's a sad situation to be in, man. Like I said, these were older people and it's like to be in a situation like that. Gosh.

JASMEKA:

Well, I pray nobody never can take the last five minutes of our episode and play it over, a picture of us separating and fighting over how we split in the accent. No, no, no, I'm just saying I pray not either. You know, things happen, situations happen, stuff change, but in our hearts of heart and what we working to do is stay together forever.

SYLVESTER:

We meant it, we vowed it, yeah, but in our hearts of heart and what we working to do is stay together forever, like we meant it, we vowed it and yeah oh so that's when that, al Green, come on, let's stay together and we out peace, peace experiences to help newlyweds and aspiring newlyweds understand the importance of a healthy relationship so that they can thrive in this world called married life.