Relationships101Podcast

Balancing Love and Like: Why liking your partner is just as important as loving them?

• Sylvester & Jasmeka Wilson • Season 1 • Episode 9

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Ever wondered why liking your partner is just as crucial as loving them? Most people believe love is the cornerstone of a lasting relationship, but Sylvester and JasMeka Wilson will challenge that notion by explaining the daily, intentional effort needed to genuinely like your partner. Recalling the nostalgic days of schoolyard notes asking, "Do you like me? Yes or No?" they argue that this simple question holds profound significance in adult relationships. Discover how focusing on the positive traits of your partner can sustain a thriving relationship, and why mutual enjoyment and genuine affection are the foundations of lasting bonds.

The journey of navigating relationships is filled with complexities, especially when distinguishing between healthy and toxic dynamics. Sylvester and Shazmika dive into the importance of maintaining positivity and mutual effort in a relationship. Learn why appreciating your partner's good qualities can be nearly impossible in harmful situations, yet is vital for a healthy partnership. They offer practical tips on how to 'count your blessings' by actively listing and reflecting on what you like about your partner. From recognizing natural negative tendencies to valuing small gestures of appreciation, this episode is packed with insights to sustain positivity in long-term relationships.

Valuing and appreciating your relationship goes beyond just recognizing red flags; it’s about intentionality and meaningful conversations. Sylvester and Shazmika discuss how couples can ensure long-term compatibility by acknowledging each other's perspectives and contributions. They emphasize showing appreciation in various forms—physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially—to strengthen the bond and potentially reduce the divorce rate. Wrapping up with a delightful personal story about their dining experience at Fleming's Steakhouse, they highlight the joy of shared moments and the importance of building a fulfilling partnership. Tune in for a heartfelt exploration into what truly makes relationships work.

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Sylvester :

Welcome to Relationships 101 Podcast, where we share experiences to help newlyweds and aspiring newlyweds understand the importance of a healthy relationship so that they can thrive in this world called married life. Welcome, welcome, welcome. This is Relationships 101 podcast and I'm your host, Sylvester Wilson.

JasMeka :

And I'm your co-host, Shazmika Wilson. Back with another episode.

Sylvester :

Oh back, oh back. Y'all remember, y'all remember. Okay, so y'all remember Back in the day, those little notes that we used to pass around. That was folded up like 50-11 times and it took a long time to actually see what the heck Was on it. And then, when you get to the end of it, it's do you like me, circle, yes or no?

JasMeka :

How many of those letters you written. I can't say I've ever written any oh, you know how to fold them up and how many folds they got.

Sylvester :

And now you done wrote, listen I had a few letters in my time, had to unfold a few laps and he had to write a few too.

JasMeka :

Listen you too.

Sylvester :

Listen. So today's topic is just that. Do you like me, yes or no?

JasMeka :

Because you got to like a person.

Sylvester :

Yes or no? Yes or no.

JasMeka :

Is it an option to say not today? Is there an option to just say not for this moment, not today, not right now? I love you.

Sylvester :

We were old enough to understand that, but it should be. If it was a grown up version, it gotta have that.

JasMeka :

I think it was an option like that. It was something like yes, or no.

Sylvester :

I think it was just yes or no. If y'all remember anything different, type it down in the comments for us so we can check that out. You know what I'm saying? Um, but I think love, like we've given so much praise to love and everybody feels like you know love and being in love and and, but not understanding the importance of how, as important like is in a healthy relationship. You know what I'm saying.

Sylvester :

I feel like love is a scripture that says love covers a multitude of sins. Right, I feel like love is that commitment, that long term commitment that you've made. It's done, it's sealed. Right, I love you. That don't mean I'm going to like you every day, that don't mean I'm going to like everything about you, but I love you. That's the long-term Like is something that has to happen more intentionally, right, that everyday battle, that everyday struggle. Right, you have to be able to find some like in that. Right, because what's easy is for us to focus on the things we don't particularly like about the person we with. That's easy, that's by default, it happens by default, but remembering what it is that we actually do like about them, because you with them, them you had to like something about them. You know I'm saying like you're with them.

JasMeka :

So going back and remember what it is that you actually like about them and rehearse that, because that'll keep you on that day-to-day being able to to but if you, if the person is forcing it, forcing themselves, because I hear you saying you've got to intentionally like this person Granted, you do, but I also feel like naturally I've got to like this person. Oh no, definitely. Okay, I don't want to interpret it as it sounds like you're forcing yourself to like this individual, Because if you are, then it's probably a reason you shouldn't be connected to that individual. If you're constantly forcing yourself, I don't like her, but I'm trying. I'm trying what's going to change?

JasMeka :

I mean listen I don't think that's healthy for the other person. Like, let's say, my type is skinny and you happen to be bigger when we first started dating and it's like his heart good, his money good, but I just I don't like him Like. I feel like that's easy, an easy way for the devil To have access to my mind, to do anything Against you, to harm you um I understand that.

Sylvester :

I just feel like there's some things that you could do, though right, because that's a dark road, like dark roads, you know things like anxiety, depression, like dark roads, dislike you know I'm saying like jealousy, like those are dark roads that the more steps you take down that road, the harder it is to come back. You know what I'm saying, and dislike is one of them. So those little things that you're noticing about your mate, that you don't like, continue to focus on them and look for them, and they're going to amplify Because the truth of the matter is, what we put our attention to amplifies you steady watching for what you don't like. It's going to continue to grow, and more reasons for you not to like them are going to continue to come. What I'm saying is you got to be intentional about changing that channel.

JasMeka :

Focusing on what you like.

Sylvester :

And focusing on what you like, so that that could be the one, be what amplifies, and that you could start to actually be able to enjoy the person you're with. Sorry, I'm sorry, go ahead.

JasMeka :

Now, I was just going to say how do you know, or how would they know, if somebody actually liked them, like I know, if somebody liked me, because you spend time with me or I'm not always the one reaching out calling first- um, it's all fundamental.

Sylvester :

It's a reason why stuff like that the little note example it's a reason why stuff like that happens in elementary school and in the earlier years of our lives, because those are fundamental. That's a fundamental concept of relationship, which means that, if you think about it, most of your good friends, long friends that you have for a long time, great relationships, a lot of times you can't remember how y'all even became friends because it was such a mutual, natural thing. It's like I just like being around this person, I just like this person attitude, I like they. You know, we just clicked. It's a natural thing. So when it's like that, he ain't ready a lot to explain about it, it just happens. You know what I'm saying and I feel like that's how it should be, like at some point. That's, that's how it happened between you and your mate.

JasMeka :

You know what I'm saying relationships start off on like, I think like day one, I don't know. Oh, definitely I like you exactly so what happens over that time where that like turned into a strong dislike?

Sylvester :

the, the focus. I I mean life happens. You're steady, learning this person, right, you're learning and you're learning more and more things that you don't like about them. But how much effort are you actually putting into learning more things that you like about them? Because those little three or four things, handful of things that you liked about them, that got you into them in the first place. It's like, if you're not, if you're not compiling on that list of things that you like about this person, then of course the dislikes are going to outweigh them over time, right? Because, like I said, that's by default. That list grows easily.

JasMeka :

But that that's for a healthy relationship. What you're saying, I'm envisioning that happening in a healthy relationship. But if you're in a toxic relationship and harm is you know they continue to do something to you you can't focus on the positive in that person or what you like about that person, because you keep just knocking them down with something. So it's kind of hard for them to focus on what I like about you. Nigga, I don't like nothing like you trying me right.

Sylvester :

Right, I mean shoot when it comes to toxic.

JasMeka :

No, that's different, I mean right, that's a that's a right, that's a conversation for us, for for people that's in healthy relationships, mutual, want to grow, want to be together those words are amazing focus on the positive, focus on why you like this person. Remind yourself why you was attracted to this person, the good qualities that they got about this person, and live in that space. But if somebody's not in that type of relationship, it's hard to focus on what I like about you.

Sylvester :

True, true and, like I said, it's got to be intentional to the point where Wait y'all, my bobbing is bobbing today.

JasMeka :

So when I just do that, it's bobbing, baby, it's bobbing.

Sylvester :

I love it.

JasMeka :

I just felt the love. Yes, baby.

Sylvester :

But sorry.

JasMeka :

Serious real talk.

Sylvester :

But no.

JasMeka :

I love what you're saying because you are and that's the difference You're positive, you're thinking of solutions. I could be a little pessimistic at times where I'm focused on the problem. So you're given an aspect of if you're in a healthy relationship, look for the positives, build on that, and I'm given a perspective of what if they aren't in a healthy relationship. It's hard to focus on what I like about this person, right? And then to me, can a relationship survive if you don't like the person?

Sylvester :

no, ultimately see that's what I'm saying how important like is, like without like. Come on, bro, you serving a sentence. It's like you serving a sentence you're in a relationship serving a sentence, like how long you got. You know what I'm saying. Like you can say we've been together for five years but shoot five years prison time, like, or five years of you actually enjoying yourself with this person.

Sylvester :

Um, that's the difference and I feel like it's the responsibility outside of being in a toxic relationship. You can't control other people, right? Both parties have to want this right and you got to want this enough to be able to apply all you can, all your resources, to it. Meaning back to fundamental writing things down. There's a phrase, old phrase, count your blessings in the form like that can be applied here by writing down those things sounds like you that you like about that person that's how I was just about to say.

JasMeka :

It's like you telling them to write down that list, your list of likes and what you dislike, and just count up the cost. Like what's longer on.

Sylvester :

Like your likes, I hope it's longer, the longest on the list I mean no a lot of times, though I can guarantee that I can, I can almost guarantee that those dislikes will be more because, like I say, it's easier by default.

Sylvester :

We're gonna see what's negative it's it's. It's a defense mechanism. You know I'm saying we always gonna see what's negative. We always gonna. We step into a room, you're gonna see what you don't like first, right, so that you can know what you want to sit at. You know what I'm saying. Like, you're gonna look at what you. It's just how, how the human mind is set up. But you gotta be intentional about making that other lid, that other side of that list the things you do like about that person longer. So it may have to take you actually giving more thought to it, right? And, like I said, going back to when y'all first started dating.

JasMeka :

But when we first started dating those likes were a little different, because I ain't live with you, you know you ain't live with the person, or so it's kind of different. But I don't think. For me my dislike list is not longer than my like list, but I can't complete that side first. Like you say how it's easier to remember what you don't like, I could go to that side and get going. When I get on the like side I could get to going, but then it's slow down and I got to think like okay, in this, in this, so it is easy and I feel like it's like that.

Sylvester :

Like you said, I got to think when it comes to that side why? Because anything like I don't know, for some reason, like when it's positive, like you got to give more effort you can't just knock down positive, that positive work. You know what I'm saying. You can't knock that down and just excuse it because it's harder to do. It's going to be harder to do. Any positive work is going to be harder to do, but the payoff is right. You get what you put out Right. You know what I'm saying. So do you like me? Yes or no?

JasMeka :

I like you not when we started 13 minutes ago. I wasn't feeling you at that moment, because y'all already know we go through this time thing in our relationship. But today it was both of us. It wasn't just him, it was me too. I was late showing up, but I like you like. I like you, I'm in love with you, I enjoy you and I hope that I show you that I like you. Yeah, some of the ways I try to do it is by greeting you first, touching you, scheduling things with you, just showing you that I'm interested and you don't have to just chase me down or, you know, try to get on I mean, that is kind of like how it start right, and I feel like in long-term relationships like those are elements that we kind of, don't try to move on.

JasMeka :

Do you like me, yes or no? Because you said you ain't never write a letter like that. I need a letter. Do you like me, yes or no?

Sylvester :

not all the time, but yes, I like you.

JasMeka :

I don't think we like anybody all the time, to be honest. I mean, I love my parents. Sometimes I don't be feeling them. I love my friends.

JasMeka :

Sometimes we kind of piss each other off and y'all later come back and say, friend, you know you was wrong. So it's just things that, it's not that I don't like you. Let's change that. For me I don't like you. I don't like something you did or something you said or how you moved about something. It wasn't you as a person, it's your action or your character that was shown in it.

Sylvester :

at times, so it's not the person.

JasMeka :

Yeah, it's not.

Sylvester :

It may not be the person you don't like. I like you, but I just don't like some things about you.

JasMeka :

I don't like how you just did that, Right I may not like some things about you.

Sylvester :

That's fair. But I do like you. I enjoy liking you. I wish I could like you all the time, but it just don't happen.

JasMeka :

I'm going to disappoint you. I'm going to disappoint you sometime, I'm human.

Sylvester :

When you like somebody you know you want to be around them. You want to be around them Like, in what ways are you showing your, your person, your mate, that you like them? Are you showing them how that you do you make them feel like, let's be conscious about this. Am I making my mate feel like like I want to be around them, like I enjoy a space, like I want them in my space because that is something that's just gonna happen? You know autopilot. You got to invite somebody into your space. You got to make somebody feel welcome. You understand what I'm saying.

JasMeka :

I think when people first start talking, it's easy to do. It'd be all about that person. Because that person, that person, that person's new, yeah.

Sylvester :

Right.

JasMeka :

Person, I'm under that person, don't see life without this person. But then over time you kind of got to get intentional, not even over time, you kind of got to get intentional, not even over time, just over situations Children later, careers later, jobs later, whatever.

Sylvester :

I think time Wow.

JasMeka :

I like, like, you like like what that mean.

Sylvester :

I like, like Just the whole concept of enjoying. I think that's like the basis of a friendship too. If you don't like somebody, y'all will never become friends. You know what I'm saying? The people you don't like, we ain't cool. We don't like them, that's not my friend, all right. So you got to like somebody to even become a friend first.

JasMeka :

Because you can love somebody and don't like them, right. I love you as a person. I love you because you know Christ said we gotta love you. But I don't like your personality, I don't like your character, I don't like how you treat people Right.

Sylvester :

And a lot of times too, that's where, like, family kind of falls into that group right, or I should say your relatives can fall into that group right. Or I should say your relatives can fall into that pot right there. I love you but I don't like you.

Sylvester :

You know, I don't like you, I don't like I understand, I don't think I don't like certain things about you. But yeah, you know what I'm saying. Um, um and it's like no, if I see somebody, I ain't gonna ride past you getting jumped or beat up. You know what I'm saying. I ain't finna, you know I'm saying. Like I ain't finna, leave past you getting jumped or beat up. You know what I'm saying. I ain't finna, you know what I'm saying. Like I ain't finna, leave you out there To the. You know, in harm's way, if it's something I can do about it, but Do I want to be around?

JasMeka :

you.

Sylvester :

Nah, there's some things about you that I just Don't like to be around.

JasMeka :

And, but I love you.

Sylvester :

You know what I'm saying and the same for some friends that we might to be around, but I love you. You know what I'm saying. Right and the same for some friends that we might outgrow.

JasMeka :

Right, some friends we might outgrow Right and you still love them.

Sylvester :

But it's just some things that we may have had in common before, because I was on what you was on and I've outgrown that. I've moved somewhere else now in myself and my whole, in my self-work, and now those things that I was just like that, but those I had, those actual things about me too, those characteristics. But now I look at them in you and I ain't like that no more. I realize I don't like that. You know what what I'm saying. And so now we got to put that distance. You know what?

JasMeka :

I'm saying so do you feel in a relationship if somebody is being intentional about their personal growth or in whatever way they're growing and somebody is stagnant?

Sylvester :

Yeah.

JasMeka :

Do you feel like that person is growing, can start disliking that individual, because it's like I want to go higher, higher, but this person is stuck here and it creates oh definitely it creates a divide.

Sylvester :

You know what I'm saying. It creates a divide. I've spoken with some people about breakups before and I remember this lady was telling me how she broke up with her ex and how she hated her ex and he's such a bum, and yada, yada, yada and she just raining down all the things from the I don't like about him side, right, and I'm like, well, you know, okay, but then you actually got with this person. Like at some point you attracted this person, right so, and they attracted you. So at some point you attracted this person, right so, and they attracted you. So at some point you guys had somebody, some something in common, right so. It may be some things that you don't like about them now and you can't even see how you was ever with them, but you was like that you had to be on that level to actually attract them. It's just that you have grown now from that place and that person has not. They still are.

Sylvester :

And that happens too. It just creates a divide. There ain't nothing wrong with it If that person you with that you've outgrown. They don't want to do that work and be intentional about doing that work on themselves. It don't even have nothing to do with you on themselves. Maybe they lack in vision, maybe they don't have dreams they don't, they're not, they're complacent and they don't want to chase anything.

JasMeka :

They don't want to grow, they don't want to build or maybe they don't have the capacity to, but you knew that going into the relationship I mean, you should have known that you know what I'm saying.

Sylvester :

Hopefully you had enough time in it to see and that's why we had these conversations, so that we are being intentional even in those dating stages, getting to know you stages, right Enough to be able to see these red flags, because if you're just dating for now, if you just worried about right now, you're not going to miss those flags. That's down the line. You're not thinking long term, right? The renter's mentality all over again, right? You're not thinking long term.

Sylvester :

You're not thinking about the work that you're going to have to help this person through, or the work they're going to have to do on themselves to get where you want to be at as a couple. You just think about right now. So then you end up being with this person for longer than what you expected and then you realize their personality doesn't really fit in a long-term thing for you, according to the vision you have for what you want out of life, and it's like, well, yeah, you should have been more intentional well y'all, I know we like them on the first date, second date, possibly even the third date date for a while, not alone, whatever your time is be led in your dating.

JasMeka :

But so you don't fall in love in a month and then marry in six months and then hating this person in two years.

Sylvester :

Right.

JasMeka :

Like can we fix the divorce rate?

Sylvester :

I think like it could fix the divorce rate. I really believe in like, because I'm telling you like, it's everything If you like a person, like, like, like, like them.

Sylvester :

Want to be around them, enjoy their company. Actually, when you like somebody you actually value, and that's me Let me get back to the ones who are married, right, you with your person, your spouse I've been together for a long time how are you showing them? Are you making them feel like you value what they bring? Are you making them feel I'm talking about physically, spiritually, emotionally?

JasMeka :

don't forget financially and financially yes.

Sylvester :

Are you making them feel appreciated for what they do, right? Are you making them feel appreciated? This is a part of liking somebody, or making somebody feel like you like them, right? Um, are you making them feel like they're appreciated for what they do? That's the physical. Are you making them, uh, feel like they're appreciated for how they think? I appreciate your mind, I appreciate your, your opinion, um, what you bring to the table, your viewpoint, your perspective, that I may not have, um, spirituallyually, are you making them feel that they're appreciated and valued for their spiritual perspective, for where they are spiritually and what they bring to you and your life on a spiritual level? That makes a person feel so good?

JasMeka :

You man, like you could taste it.

Sylvester :

I can. I be real passionate about this. You know what I'm saying. I want everybody to like the person they with, because you can see that on a person. You know what I'm saying. When you like the person you with, y'all can be in y'all own little bubble. You know what I'm saying. When we good, we good.

JasMeka :

Oh yeah.

Sylvester :

When we ain't good, we ain't good.

JasMeka :

You know what I'm saying and you can see it, but we don't last too long on a not good tip.

Sylvester :

We better not. But nah, we've grown to that place. We've grown. It was a time, baby, where that thing was lasting too long. We're going into another week and you still ain't.

JasMeka :

Go listen to the communication down below.

Sylvester :

The communications episode.

JasMeka :

Yeah, they gotta go listen to the communication episode to figure out why it was lasting for longer than what it should.

Sylvester :

You know what I'm saying, but now we beef, we back talking in 20 minutes, and when we good though and liking each other, people can see that on you. You know what I'm saying. Not that that's what you're doing it for, but you in your vibe, you in your own little bubble, and we can go anywhere. We can go in a crowded room or a room that ain't got nobody in it and be vibing. I remember we went to New Orleans. Right, we went to New Orleans.

JasMeka :

I forgot the name of the club Empty Space when we went to new orleans, I forgot the name of the club empty space, and I'm talking about like seven people. Well, let me tell you what happened because we we really was.

Sylvester :

This was after covid right, yeah, this is so, it was after covid. Because we covid changed us in a lot of ways, but in this way, in particular when it comes to making reservations, because it's like we ain't going nowhere without it. Kovat trained us to break reservations. You know what I'm saying. And so, even after kovat, we just stuck to that and we wouldn't accept nothing else. So even today, we, we ain't going if we ain't got a reservation. Right, call us bougie, whatever. So you made the reservation, I didn't even make a reservation. I paid.

JasMeka :

You paid for a table yes, yes I think it was like 250 dollars.

Sylvester :

Don't forget that part at this, at this spot in new orleans, right and this they say it's a little jumping spot. It was supposed to be a hot spot, people there. But I'm telling you, we looked on the IG and everything, but when we got there it was seven people, it was crickets. The DJ was vibing though, oh, he was good, but there wasn't nobody in there. You know what I'm saying? It was good. And if we didn't like each other? And if we wasn't, if we didn't like each other, see, we would have been in LA, did y'all?

JasMeka :

I bet people were like, hey, that's how we would have been in there, frozen, not saying nothing to each other.

Sylvester :

You get the birds chirping outside, so we got in there, frozen, not saying nothing to each other. I would say you get a bird chirping outside, so we got in there and we vibed dog to the point where we had the time To the point where the staff the staff invited us to a spot they went to after they clocked out.

Sylvester :

You know what I'm saying. We went and vibed with them and it was just a whole vibe. You know what I'm saying. But you gotta be able to do that. I love like you know what I'm saying. I love like some people get it mixed up and they're like oh no, they must really love each other. Yeah, they do.

JasMeka :

But what you're?

Sylvester :

looking at is like You're looking at, like when they can enjoy each other. That ain't love. That's like. You know what I'm saying. Love is the fact that they're still together. Like is the fact that they're still together. Like is the fact that they're together right now, Having fun and enjoying it.

JasMeka :

And I'm happy yeah.

Sylvester :

What are some signs, though, that you may not like your spouse Right?

JasMeka :

This, this, this. I ain't got my phone but it's this girl. Yeah, where we going tonight, what we doing. You hungry? Sure you better find something to eat. Wait, I'm calling somebody for real hey, you got it on.

Sylvester :

I'm not disturbed, yeah, okay. So, um, those are some signs, right, and the fact that you feel like you always need somebody around, somebody else outside of y'all to to enjoy yourself, to enjoy each other.

Sylvester :

Like we need a distraction, right, we need some type of you know, we need somebody else in here, another couple, another part, like to kind of help us deviate from the fact that we don't really like each other. So, um, those are some signs, though, that that you may not like your spouse. Um, you always complaining, you know I'm saying that complaint thing.

JasMeka :

I'm just done like I don't want to be here like I don't care, leave today go same complaints every day.

Sylvester :

Don't know how to turn that off. Find yourself just going down that rabbit hole of complaints.

JasMeka :

You think God created us to, because I know people don't divorce some people because of their belief.

Sylvester :

Okay.

JasMeka :

Like you know, you don't supposed to separate or whatever. Right right, but I feel like they're dying daily staying in this relationship.

Sylvester :

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Like oh, it was too close, Just trying to make sure you don't bump my mouth.

JasMeka :

But no, for real, like I think, I feel sorry for people that are in relationships and you don't like the person you with.

Sylvester :

It's a jail sentence. It really is as important as it is to like the person you're with is even more important to like yourself, because that could reflect out to the person that you're with. You could be with a wonderful person, but the fact that you keep finding things to complain about about them is the fact that you don't really like yourself, like let's think about that, right. You don't really like yourself, like let's think about that, right. You don't like certain things about you that you're not giving enough attention to to change. If you don't like something, change it. You know what I'm saying. And if it's about you, you're gonna have to like I said it got got to be intentional Anytime.

Sylvester :

It's about progression, it's about positive. When I say positive, it's progress, it's forward. That takes work. Stop thinking that it's just going to happen. That takes work. So, even if it's just you as an individual, you got work to do on yourself. You don't like this about you, you don't like that about you. Man, take one step and put it in front of you. Then take the other foot, put it in front of you again. Like now you're moving forward. It ain't that hard, right, but it ain't that. It's simple. It could be hard, but it ain't, but it's simple, right?

JasMeka :

just do it. We all don't like something about or been in a place where you don't like something about yourself. I mean, we got people in places that don't love themselves, so how can you show that to somebody else?

Sylvester :

it's crazy.

JasMeka :

That's probably why we went sorry, why we went through a week's time, because, honestly, there was a time I did not like certain things about myself. Reality.

Sylvester :

Right.

JasMeka :

Didn't like it.

Sylvester :

Yeah.

JasMeka :

So it's like I don't care, Like whatever it ain't right there. But now, baby, like love, admire, adore, cherish. Like love everything about me. Like I don't care what my story was, I don't care about the teen pregnancy, Like I've embraced it. I don't care what my story was, I don't care about the teen pregnancy, I've embraced it, I accept it.

Sylvester :

I live in it.

JasMeka :

I walk in it, I like me and it's easy for me to like him.

Sylvester :

Ooh, I think they like. Ooh, I think they like, ooh, I think they like.

JasMeka :

You know this, bob, don't be making me Ooh.

Sylvester :

Sure. It's crazy, though, though, that in this time though that we're living in, when it comes to liking yourself, it's like you change it. People are doing that whatever they don't like, they adding and they add and enhancing it's taking out all, but the problem is is that all of these things are physical and it's not enough people doing the internal work of things that they want to change and don't like about themselves.

JasMeka :

It's going to do the changing of the inside.

Sylvester :

I mean once I do these things my confidence will go up. Right, but I mean there's some truth to that. You look good, you feel good, you do good, but that trauma is still sitting there. You still sitting there.

JasMeka :

Those thoughts still in your mind, no matter what you do or how you dress it up.

Sylvester :

Those habits you got that are negative, that are detrimental to you, are still there. You know what I'm saying. Whether they're bad eating habits, whether they're bad, how many people we know that got the surgery and they end up back on the table because it's the habits, it's your internal work that you skipping over, like lay on that table and get some surgery done to that. You know what I'm saying and what? What is that called? It done to that? You know what I'm saying and what? What is that called? It's not going. It's called therapy. It's called therapy, so so so it's like people around here getting bbls and tummy tucks and all that and they're getting physical surgery when they should be getting mental and emotional surgery we're not bashing those that did it, we're just not at't only address the physical and forget the mental the spiritual baby.

JasMeka :

Do it, do that real work, man cause in order to like somebody, you gotta like yourself.

Sylvester :

That's all we saying you know what I'm saying. I need some things that'll help you be able to like yourself right. Do that work, man, so like right what's your takeaways on it? I don't know, but you know there's also a correlation between right social media and how much you like yourself, right?

JasMeka :

on social media. They be wanting hearts more than the light they, they, they, they, they, they. You are this love and the thumbs up is like yeah, maybe you want people to like heart it right better, just liking it. They feel like the like. Is you really you hating or whatever? But either or either or opposed to a heart we, we, we kind of um feel like.

Sylvester :

You know that like button or that heart button is. It says that we're liked right or we're loved and they like me. Um, that's, that's not.

JasMeka :

That's not real but sometimes I'd be uh on the toilet just scrolling and liking like I mean, like don't take girl. I support you, but don't take it as sometimes like I don't even have time to read everything you put, so I just heart it, because it started off with my baby girl and I'm like, yeah, baby girl, don't be wrapped up in these little fake likes listen.

Sylvester :

So I had a conversation with somebody about About the like Concept and they was telling me Like they A female, she gave her number to a dude or whatever and he end up, you know, calling her at the Wrong time of the night. First time he ever called, called her like Two in the morning, like type junk.

JasMeka :

No, he likes her booty.

Sylvester :

She like what did you call me? They had to text a little bit. They text with each other a little bit, but first time calling he trying to. You know what I'm like. He trying to like yeah, so she ain't like that, right, and the conversation we had it was like we got to be intentional about what we like and what we don't like. What does that mean? Like? Because what you like, just like the social media algorithm.

Sylvester :

There's a lot of truth to this stuff. What you like is going to actually show up more. Not only the same thing is going to keep showing up in your timeline or in your life right, your life is your timeline but even more things that's just like that, more people, that's just like that. More people, that's just like that. More personalities, that's just like that. Persons are going to continue to show up in your life.

Sylvester :

If you're not intentional about disliking it, right, cutting it off, and a like ain't nothing but a response to something. It's a positive response to something you saw or that you experienced, right, and life is the same thing If you like it, that compliment, if you like something somebody said to you, did to you, like don't sit there with the rest in B face, like give a positive response to that. Well, thank you, I appreciate that. Right, you'll be. You'll be surprised at how many females say they want to. They want a man. They won't even friends.

Sylvester :

But they don't know how to respond to things that they like so that they can receive more. They give a negative response or no response at all to something that they like and wonder why it doesn't continue. You understand what I'm saying. So if you don't like something, give a negative response to it, cut it off. Let them know. Uh-uh, right, don't deal with the same type of people. No, more, don't deal with people who do that. Don't cut it off, and so that you can see something different showing up in your life, just a little. Just a little like the like theory be careful.

JasMeka :

What are people that um fake like you too oh, fake like they don't really like you, they just you know what I'm saying trying to act like they interested, so they could get what they want, and they go, yeah, discern. You need a spirit of discernment in these times. You do Desire.

Sylvester :

You do.

JasMeka :

That's my takeaway.

Sylvester :

Ooh, I like it. So um, this has been another episode of Relationships 101.

JasMeka :

Where we keep it real.

Sylvester :

And we ain't go out this week.

JasMeka :

y'all Just real quick, we went out.

Sylvester :

Oh yeah.

JasMeka :

You supposed to talk about the places. We went last Tuesday for this week. We went to Tomahawk Tuesday. We went last Tuesday for this week. We went to Tomahawk Tuesday.

Sylvester :

Oh sure we did.

JasMeka :

They have a special going on guys.

Sylvester :

Where is that?

JasMeka :

They got Fleming's.

Sylvester :

Fleming's, fleming's.

JasMeka :

Steakhouse Tomahawk Tuesdays. I think it's $159. You get a Tomahawk, two sides, two salads, for $159. That's the price for both of y'all, yep. So if y'all are interested in going on a date, that's a spot you can try.

Sylvester :

And that's at Fleming's Steakhouse. We went to the one that went on.

JasMeka :

Brickell, I think.

Sylvester :

Brickell, miami. For y'all who don't know, we in Miami.

JasMeka :

But thanks for joining us. Be sure to hit that.

Sylvester :

Subscribe, like, share and that notification bell Should be over there on that side. You know what I'm talking about, so do that and we appreciate it.

JasMeka :

If you like this content. If you find value, if you find value here or if you don't like it, send it to somebody else and they may like it. We may not be for you, but we may be for somebody else. You know what I'm talking about.

Sylvester :

We out Peace to somebody else and they may like it.

JasMeka :

We may not be for you, but we may be for somebody else.

Sylvester :

On to that Sure we out Peace, peace. Welcome to Relationships 101 Podcast, where we share experiences to help newlyweds and aspiring newlyweds understand the importance of a healthy relationship so that they can thrive in this world called married life. Thank you.